Tuesday, September 29, 2009

I'm tired. Not physically, but mentally.

I know you care and concern for me. I know you are worried for my health especially with such a health condition. I know I should rest enough. But, seriously, I'm really trying. Sometimes, it is just not within my control and that I really have to complete my work on time.

To be honest, I'm very tired. For everyday, you always talk about me sleeping late bad for my health. Always telling me that you wonder that I should actually study this. Always telling me that, after 4 years, my health will deteriorate.

Before I make decision of whether to go LASALLE or Australia. You say that, if I go Australia, I wouldn't know how to take care of my own health and my health will deteriorate etc. You prefer me to remain in Singapore to study.

Now, I decide to make my choice to LASALLE and study something I like. Yet, now, you are telling me this all over again.

I'm thinking, if that's the case, what you want me to do?

I keep rushing (and stressing) myself to complete my work. I keep looking at the clock ticking away when it is already mid-night. But how? If I don't complete my work on time, everything is going to pile up, and it's gonna be worst.

I really don't know how. I try to explain to you last time, but, it doesn't seems to make a difference.


Tired. Tired.

Every time this happens, I blame myself for being born with this problem. If I don't have, I don't have to worry so much. And you don't have to worry and feel so helpless.

I am supposed to enjoy myself since this is what I will love to do. But am I getting all kinds of pressure.


Why?