Saturday, February 16, 2008

Sometimes I wish times will not fly that fast.

MP Presentation was finally over. My presentation was kind of screwed, but that's not the main point.
Ending of MP = Ending of 3 years of polytechnic life.

The thought of "Yesterday was my last day of school" didn't come across my mind at all. Totally no. I just felt that it was just any other last day of the term, and there would be a new term awaiting in a few months time. I was still happily snapping pictures with friends and teachers, happily chatting away and enjoying ourselves. So happy till I actually forgotten, after yesterday, I'm almost graduate.

The thought only strike my mind, when Han Ping told me that many people cried because it was the last day of school. Only then, I remembered. However, I felt nothing. I just went 'Orh'

This morning, when I checked out the pictures from Aeng's facebook, I only finally woke up that, I'm really graduating. It's really the last day. No more lessons other than the tests next week. No more. Only then, all the emotions came pouring to me. I don't know how I feel. Even now when I'm typing this, I felt so confused.

Years ago, I just needed to wait for my 'O' level results. And I just had to choose the course I wanted, and applied it using JAE. And ta-da, I would be in a new place when JAE results were out.

Now, it's not the same as before. Either I apply to university to continue my studies, or I go for work. I'm lost and in state of confusion. I suddenly feel that I got no goals. I don't know what I want to do now. Thoughts of not suitable in Food Technology area came across my mind and I'm thinking should I continue to study in this area. Even so, if there's any university going to accept me for my average grades. If i choose to work, do I have the confidence and capability to work as Food Technologist or something? I feel that I'm not totally prepared to really enter into the career world. Not matured enough and not ready enough. No goals, no plan for future.

Suddenly, I feel so feared to grow up. Suddenly, I feel so feared of the time, keep moving on so fast.