Tuesday, August 02, 2005

I hate myself for being shy. It wouldn't kill for just going over to say 'hi' to him or merely just to walk pass him. But for whatever reason, I don't know why I'm so shy and wants to avoid him, despite of the fact that I want to know more about him.

Haiz. Why is that so?

My friends create chances for me to say 'hi' to him. But, I choose not to. I ran away.

Am I stupid?

Or,

Am I just shy? No confident?
Is that why I avoid him?

I'm so happy when I saw him. Yet, I feel so scare to sit near to where he is sitting. Maybe, I'm just worry that I wouldn't be able to have my lunch properly. Haha. Guess what, I might be looking at him all time. Or I might just have difficulties to swallow my food. Haha.

Think about it. I'm kind of regret. I keep scolding myself; why choose to walk down from that stairs?, why can't I follow my friends and walked pass him? His back will be facing us anyway., why this...why that...

But

I guessed. It's over. No use crying, regretting over it. I just let a good chance, slip away. Haiz.

ALl of my friends were telling me, 'there are many girls in TP. You must take action! What if he got a girlfriend? Then how?'. I just said, 'Then, let it be. What I can do?'

I believe if he really do, I guess, I will cry.

Haiz