Monday, May 16, 2005

i want my freedom

i want to be independent.

i want to be a REAL 17-years-old girl going to poly.

a young adult who can makes her own decision.

i don't want to be someone who still need to get permission from mother in everything she do.

this includes buying her own clothes shoes and bags using her own money from her job.

i want my mother to understand what i feel.

i want her to see more of what life is now.

what is the most fashionable stuffs.

but.

it seems to be very hard.

just one night in orchard with my family bored me .

they ain't like what me and my friends did.

comb the whole shop looking for nice clothes.

instead they feel that i'm have lots of clothes and no point going in the shop.

and one thing, they just can't wait to go home.

lots of clothes?

oh.man.

yes.
but most are old and i had wear them hundreds of them.
and i'm so sick of it.

i want something new.

don't say i'm spendthift. but i feel that it's necessary for me to get more clothes. especially these 3 years.


don't blame me for being naughty.
for disobeying you.
or being rude to you.

it is just that you don't understand my character.

don't understand what i feel and what i want. age-gap problem.

i'm not a 13-years-old girl who used to listen to you.
do what you says and etc

i have my own rights.
my own pride.
don't always afraid that i can't do this and that. you don't give me a chance. so how?
don't always feel that whatever i do is too-much. like chasing idol, screaming when saw idols on tv. this is part of me--- being crazy.

i can be rebellious.
but i choose not to.
because i am not a bad girl.
and i don't want you to be sad.
but if i ever do.
sorry.

because i just want you to understand my needs.