Saturday, May 28, 2005

Ok. This post shall start without a title as I can't think of one.

Hm, yesterday was Bartley's sports day. Well. Hm, I indeed saw someone that I don't really wish to see. But anyway, no harm seeing him right? I had no feelings for him anymore. But, I got to admit, he ran really fast yesterday for his class 4x100m run. Lolx.

Ok. Let's talk about what happened before the Sports Day. Well, AA13 had tutorial in the morning, from 9am to 11am, for this particular subject called, Communication Skills for Applied Science. CSAS for short. Just from the look of the subject TITLE, it's kind of obvious that this subject require us to do some speaking and stuff like that. Sad to say, yes, it is. Haha.

I can get real nervous when I speak in front of a group of people, even my class. So nervous, sometimes my tongue will be like as if it is being tied and can't pronoun a word properly. Ah. I think I need to overcome this fear. Haha. Yesterday was the first lesson for this subject. So, the usual thing. Introduce ourself, one by one. Lucky for me, my tutor, who is Mrs Sumathi, decided to start calling the names from the last to the first. I'm the second in my class name list. Which means, I'm the second last to talk.

Ah, one by one, my classmates came and stood in front of the class and introduced themselves. I observed what they said and how they did it. When it's my turn, erm, I don't feel very very very nervous when I'm standing in front of the class. But when I opened my mouth to speak, that nervous just came. My voice was kind of tremble. But I think I trying to calm myself down, try to make my voice not to tremble to much. My body was also trembling, but HuiNee said no? Maybe I moved my hands around. So, I don't look that bad. I started off by saying my name and the secondary school I'm from. Then I talked about my CCAs in Bartley. Well, surprisingly, my classmates laughed when I talked about choir. Hm, because I said that 'I don't intend to join Choir at all. But my teacher forced me too.' Then everyone laughed. I feel abit more relax, not so tense. Because, this shows that I can make them laugh! HAHA. At least, I wouldn't feel so weird, that I'm talking and everyone just looked at me, that kind? Ya. I feel more relax. Maybe, abit more confident! =)
Maybe for people like me, need to attend such lessons. To build up my confidence and stuff. Honestly speaking, I'm kind of low confident. Especially when come to speaking to group of people in English. It's even worst when I was much younger, I mean, when I was in secondary school? Ya. So, I gonna to improve that. However, compared to last time, I much much more better. LASt time, I spoke real real soft. Now, it's louder and better. Hehe. Huinee also said that I spoke very well. Haha. Hope that will increase my confidence!

Ok. After that tutorial, both huinee and I went to the IT lab to do the PIPC1 e-learning. It only took us 10 minutes? As we just fill in the blanks. It was like so fast and we can't go to Serangoon stadium yet! It would be very early. SO, we went to bedok reservoir. HAha.

It was very peace there and we sat on grass, listen to songs, took photos, etc. Sound romantic. I know. But we are not lesbians. Don't get it wrong. Just going there to spend our time and relax ourselves.
I managed to take one photo which is very beautiful I find.

Bedok Resevoir

Another

It was after the drizzle [spelling!?], and I realised that the water was blue and it just looked very beautiful, that's why I decided to capture this view. Haha. =]
Am I a good photographer? Wahaha. Just kidding.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

It had been two days! OH no! I can go crazy if this were to continue. Two days what? There's two reasons. First, Not telling. Hehe.


Second, been two days in poly! Lecture and lecture in the first week. Tomorrow will be a tough. Because, there will be lectures from 1pm to 6pm! Non-stop. Well, except for a break of 10 minutes every hour. So sad. I think I need to fill my stomach full otherwise it will grumble. Just like today. Yes, I admit that I can't live without food! Get it? Whatever

Anyway, this course. If I never really put in super duper more effort, I think I will flunk! Because, most of the subjects consist of Chemistry and Biology. Yeap. Chemistry is my most weakest subject ever! As long I don't understand, I just wouldn't get it no matter how hard / much I asked the teacher! Even I may have understand during lectures times, but when comes to self work, I will be totally stuck!

Argh. Now, I must really really pay attention, can't doze off, can't get distracted. Phew. It's gonna be real tough for me. Wish me good luck my friend. Haha.

Tomorrow lectures will start at 1pm. Well, actually is 8am in the morning, but the lecture is cancel. For whatever reason. I don't know. Haha.

i feel like crying now.....not sad..but because...

i miss him so much

Monday, May 23, 2005

Tomorrow is the day that mark a full-stop for my six months holiday. Tomorrow school will start. First day in Poly. I wonder how is it going to be like. Kind of excited and scare too. Haha. Hope I can adapt to the new life! =)






hope can see him around the campus tml

Sunday, May 22, 2005

I don't know what to do. I feel like giving up. I don't feel like talking about the matter to her anymore. It's like, she always misunderstood my intention.

I just want her to relax. Want her not to worry too much about me. I merely told her don't be too 'kan cheong' over my meals and stuff. Because I know what to do and how to settle my own meals outside. As when I returned from camp, I didn't take my dinner and she was like, 'What!? No dinner? How can!?' To me, she was like very anxious and very worry that I don't have my dinner. So, I said those stuffs in the morning. I said 'I know how to settle my meals at outside. Not need to bother about that for me. Because it's my own matters.' and so on. And what? She thought what i said, was like telling her 'I'm grown-up. And that's no need for you to care about me' stuff like that.

No! I don't have such intention at all. What I meant was that, she can 'fang xin' and not need to worry over a small matter which I can solve for myself! She got real angry and said that I can leave home if I want to be independent. Please mum. You really misunderstood me.

I just want you to know that, I'm slowly growing up and sometimes you just not need to worry about me so much. Yes, I know I had not totally see how the world is like as I had been on this world for only 17 years, unlike you. But, sometimes you just have to relax. You really have to relax. Don't add stress for yourself. MY own things, like me settle on my own. If I have any queries or what, I will come and ask you.

What you see is just the outside of me. But, whatever i think insdie my heart and mind, is totally different from my outside. I'm not to say here, that I'm mature. My thinking is mature. I'm now slowly to think in a mature way. And before I did something, I really do think first, before I act. Just that, you don't know. I'm the kind of person, who don't show what I'm thinking inside.

I'm also not trying to say, I had work before and I had my own money, so big deal. No! Since I say is my own money, please let me spend what I want. But not as in spending my money on buying things unneccesary. If I'm spendthrift, I would just buy the converse shoes without much consideration. On outside, you may think I'm sturbborn. I must get what I want. But, frankly speaking, I thinking real hard, whether I should buy the shoes or not. I'm always thinking before I buy anything else. Be it shoes, clothes or any other accessories.

Honestly, this morning, I was really really very sad. I'm crying deep insdie my heart. I went to the toilet to cry. Sometimes I really hope you can understand what I feel/think deep inside me.

I just want you to relax and 'fang xin' about me. BUt yet, you thought I want you to stop bothering me and let me independent. Yes, i want to be independent as in, let me settle my own stuffs. I just don't want to add burden to you and made you even more tired.

Please see me as a 17-years old girl. Treat me like a young adult. I know what is for my own good. I really know. Please trusts me. Sometimes, I just feel that, you don't have faith in me. You just don't dare to let go of the string, just alittle bit longer.

Well, maybe, maybe the tone I used to talk to you about this, is wrong? Haiz.

Please help me. I'm very confused, troubled over this. I feel very trap, weeping away by myself and no body knows. What should I do!? Haiz.

Monday, May 16, 2005

i want my freedom

i want to be independent.

i want to be a REAL 17-years-old girl going to poly.

a young adult who can makes her own decision.

i don't want to be someone who still need to get permission from mother in everything she do.

this includes buying her own clothes shoes and bags using her own money from her job.

i want my mother to understand what i feel.

i want her to see more of what life is now.

what is the most fashionable stuffs.

but.

it seems to be very hard.

just one night in orchard with my family bored me .

they ain't like what me and my friends did.

comb the whole shop looking for nice clothes.

instead they feel that i'm have lots of clothes and no point going in the shop.

and one thing, they just can't wait to go home.

lots of clothes?

oh.man.

yes.
but most are old and i had wear them hundreds of them.
and i'm so sick of it.

i want something new.

don't say i'm spendthift. but i feel that it's necessary for me to get more clothes. especially these 3 years.


don't blame me for being naughty.
for disobeying you.
or being rude to you.

it is just that you don't understand my character.

don't understand what i feel and what i want. age-gap problem.

i'm not a 13-years-old girl who used to listen to you.
do what you says and etc

i have my own rights.
my own pride.
don't always afraid that i can't do this and that. you don't give me a chance. so how?
don't always feel that whatever i do is too-much. like chasing idol, screaming when saw idols on tv. this is part of me--- being crazy.

i can be rebellious.
but i choose not to.
because i am not a bad girl.
and i don't want you to be sad.
but if i ever do.
sorry.

because i just want you to understand my needs.

Friday, May 13, 2005

ah. i'm back for more. Apologise for not continuing last night because I'm busy searching the Krpytonites and the GLs in Friendster. Haha. Well, had find afew. Haha.

Ok. Well did I stop from the last post? Ah, the chicky dance at the bus-stop. Haha.
After playing the games in TP campus, we went back to Sports Complex again and briefing and maybe play afew games. Like get a few representatives from each empire.sub-empire to play games. Some games are sick. That Kai! SHIME SHIME SHIME SHIME. Haha. Weird, funny guy.

Second night, we had performance night. That's means each empire must perform. OUr empire had short skit, dance and cheer. That night I was damn damn enthu. Maybe we kept practicing the cheers. And naturally, I slowly became enthu. Keep jumping, moving. Haha. Krpyton was the last to perform. That Kai. Make us so impatient. We kept cheering for our empire that we wanted to perform. But he hor, no matter how loud we cheered, he never called our group to perform. We were the last one! But, keep the best for the last.Ahh.
When some of them were dancing at the stage, others were dancing and cheering all the way. That includes me! HAHA. I was at the front also. but I HACK! Kept jumping, cheering. I just did what I do in Sly's events. HAHAHA Ah, don't say idol-chasing is waste time. Because now I could make use of what I did in such events. HAHAAHA

then others have to go on stage. We sang song then cheer. I'm in front also! But stand side way. So, not so bad as I'm not very sure of the song lyrics.
Then at around 10.30pm, we did the mass dance again and chicky dance. Then when the lights are off, the MUSIC WERE ON and the DISCO LIGHTS too!! Everyone started to dance, jump! I jumped until I became breathless man. Some of us formed a long 'train' and ran around the complex hall. And danced. HAHA Half-way through, me and huinee went to bath. Too tired already. BUT! After I bathed, THEY PLAYED 'It's MY LIFE!' What the..! HAHA MY favourtie song! SLY!!!! AAHHH. Why don't want to play earlier? Sobx Sobx.

At around 1am or 2 am, we then sleep. But the lights were on! 3am then off. Argh. So sleepy but can't tired because of lights. But I slept anyway. And Huinee told me I got snored! Maybe because too tired. HAHA.

Third day. LAST DAY. Ah. Wet day! IN the morning, we already went around the campus for games. Same as those games before. Had the clues and needed to find the stations. Most of the games had to do with water. Everyone kept throwing water bomb in the first station. I kena man! My left side wet! -.- There were other games too. Like 2 people must use mouth to hold a cup of water and walked the other side and got the chopsticks that form the puzzle and must walked back etc etc. At the end of the game, the GLs poured pail of water from upstairs and everyone was wet! There were too many games, can't list down all down. But, we will confirm get wet during the games. Because, the GLs kept spraying water at us! HAHA. Actually, the morning games not considered very wet. Afternoon game, confirm get wet from head to toe.

First station at swimming pool. And we must form a circle and sat one each other's lap. This game need endure and team work. and passed water around using our elbows. I sprained my neck abit abit la. But after a while ok. HAHA. But our team lost. Oh ya, we were playing this game with another sub-empire. The losing sub empire must get wet from head to toe. But in the end, both groups got wet together. Because we wanted! The station master poured water on us. SO WET! And cold especially when there was wind. HAHA.

Ah. There were to many stuff for me to continue here.

Ah! I forgot. THe final wall CLASH! Ya. The game was like a war. Each empire had a stick that look like lollipop. We must use the water bombs to make a hole in the lollipop. The lollipop was made of a long stick, hula hoop and newspaper. Newspaper was wrap around the hula-hoop so must tear the newspaper la. When the game started, our empire all CHEONG to our right. Right is our target. Their target was us too. [can't remember the other empire's name]. So, when the game started, both empire like CHEONG to each other. The other side like stood at there. Don't know what to do. HAHA. One of our GLs told us, 'My friend ask what my empire ate for lunch!? All CHEONG together!' HAHA. But our team lost. Because got hole. HAHAHA.

Ok. I want to stop! Don't know how to continue.

BUt..

I LOVE KRYPTON! YOU GUYS RAWKS!

LOSE LOSE! POINTS ARE BULLSHIT! MOST IMPORTANT IS TO HAVE FUN!

YEAH! Hope to see you guys again!

Thursday, May 12, 2005

I love TP! I love TP! I love Krypton! You guys rocks rocks rocks rocks! 3 Cheers and 3 cheers and3 cheers for Krypton!

Ok. After 3 days of camp, woah. one word, Pain. Haha. Pain on muscles everywhere. Legs, hands buttock. Eh? Why buttock? Because the floor is so hard! Keep sitting and sleeping too long. But fun anyway.

Ok. I'm in Krypton and sub empire Krypon. Actually me and Huinee were suppose to be in Kyrvo. But when Soon Poh asked the freshies to get into our sub empire. We went to the wrong group. Two reasons, either remembered wrongly or we don't know the pronounciation, then anyhow. No matter what. I just love Kryon!

Kai and Saf [correct? sheesh, can't remember the name/spelling] started off the camp by introducing and bla bla. That Kai, lame, humourous, tiko, and SHIME! SHIME! SHIME! SHIME!

After that, we got into our sub empire and played games to introduce ourselves. First, I think we played, erm, Blow Wind Blow? Ya, first round and i kenna hit on the head. Haha. Ok. Well, actually the 'wind' wanted to blow all those people who wear specs. As I wanted to stand, someone suddenly ran fast in front of me and my head hit the side of one of my GLs butt. It sound embarassing. BUT DOn't THINK MUCH PEOPLE SAW, so HENG. Otherwise even more paiseh. Haha. Pain la. Because the impact like very strong. LOLx. Luckily my head is hard. Wahaha.

Then play, play, play. Got once I can't find a place and have to introduce. Just introduce. Like; 'Im Shanlyn, from Applied Sci and Food Nutrition' Then, blow wind blow. Ah.

Hunter, Fire and Earthquake. Eh, the game name is like that? Anyway, the game is played like that, two people stretched their hands out and holded. One person had to squat in between them. If the game master or whatever, called out Fire, the two people have to move and changed place. If called out Hunter, person in between move. Earthquake, EVERYONE! And again, I kenna once. Can't find a place. Haha. Next, is a game like playing Scissors, Paper, Stone. But we started from egg. That means, beginning, we were like egg. We had to find another person to play with. If win, 'promoted' to chick. Then Hen/Rooster, Eagle and final god. I lose man! And had to do 4 feat. Must dance to the music. So paiseh. I felt so stupid and idiot. Can feel my face so red. Huinee still can say I dance very cute. -.-

Actually we did many things. I can't remember much. But we did many cheers! I love the cheers! Must be enthu when cheering. Haha. At night, we went to Tampines Central to play games. Quite fun.
But we didn't get high points. We got 4th. Well, Krypton didn't get Best empire at the end. But the points are BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT BULLSHIT. Haha. We are here in camp for fun! Points, neh. Fun YEAH!

I didn't catch much sleep! Because fans were off and the electricity were like, erm, cut off? Ya. And the night is damn WARM! I think I only manage to sleep for 1 or 2 hours. I kept moving around. From one end to the other end. Oops, hope I didn't disturb the others. Haha.

Second day in camp. I became a little more enthu. Lots of cheering, screaming and shouting. Heh heh, Thanks to my experience of Idol-chasing, I can scream loud. WAHAHAHA. Ok la, I'm know I'm bhb. Can't I praise myself a little. Ai yo!
Then we had games in around the school? We had to find an envelope in Design School as the clue is inside. And must figure the answer from the clue to gain points. We got some mischellaneous stuff also. Can help to gain points. Like kiss the tree from 5 seconds, do Holy Dance and Cheeky Dance when a bus came, talked to security guard for two seconds, and many many stuffs. The Holy Dance and cheeky Dance were the best! Haha. When doing the Holy Dance, the female bus driver gave us a good sign. Haha. I think the passengers in the bus must be wondering, WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE PEOPLE DOING. Haha.

erm. I shall continue at night. I need to get ready and help my aunt. Haiz.

I love KRYPTHON and the GLs!!!!

Krypton, give me one clap *Clap*
Krypton, give me one clap *Clap*
Give me a krypton clap! *Clap, ssssssiiiiiiii BOOM!!!!!*