Saturday, January 29, 2005

I don't know what had happen. I feel that, I'm changing. I'm becoming more and more low confidence. I don't know why. Am I becoming anti-social? I feel that I become more and more quiet. I realize that I didn't talk much yesterday when shopping with Xiang and Nee. Am I always like that? OR..

I'm beginning to hate my looks. I feel that I'm so ugly. Everyone around me look so nice. Today, both of them try on some spagetti straps or bare back kind of tops. They look so nice on it. I feel like one ugly duckling. My fashion taste suxs.

Maybe because of this, I always feel so low confidence. So lousy. Feel like gina (Hokkien for 'children'). I hate my hair, my face. Haiz. My hair look so sucky. I feel that I look so dull, so sad-looking.

I don't think this way last time. Honestly, I don't know what makes the change.

Haiz. I really miss the times we are in secondary school. Always get together to discuss question. Even though is just only discussing question, it create the bond between friends. How should I say? It's like, we will gather around, and think/ study together, discuss together. And then is like when we got the answer or something, we will be very happy. Like 'Yea! Got the answer!' and continue doing our work again. It's like very fun.

I want to be back to what I used to be in Secondary school days. The girl who talk a lot. Now, I seem to be kind of quiet. Only if there's topic about my favourite stuffs/people, like Sylvester, I will talk a lot. Hey hey. I'm not trying to mean that I don't care about other stuffs except Sly okay.

Haiz, haiz, haiz

Can anyone help to prevent myself from being sooooo low confidence in my looks or what? I feel like going for an ultimate change, change my hair and everything. I feel so dull…..

Anyway, I bought a pmk skirt. Abit above my knee-level. It don't look short. But I feel that it's short. Never in my life had I ever wear skirt above my knee-level. Oh, what a mountain tortoise right? Yeah. That's I feel that the skirt is short. Know what? I don't dare to wear spagetti strip, bare-back, tight and short shorts, skirt above my knee level etc. Idiot right? May think I'm like so closed mind or 'bao shou'. Why I don't wear? Because I don't dare and my mum don't really like it. Low confidence. No confidence. Always feel that I look ugly or not nice. I hate my thighs . Above my knee level, the skin colour is fair! And below my knee-level, it's dark. That's why. Imagine I wear a short, Can see the different in the skin colour and it's gonna to look real horrible. Haiz…see? I think so lowly of my own look.

My skirt

Don't talk about this. Make me even worst.

I just bought Angela's Aurora. Hm, quite nice. Her voice is bright Oh. I like 'Aurora' . I did try to sing, but must make my voice high. Haiz. And also an ez-link card holder. It's so cute. 90 cents for one. Can't remember which shop I bought from. But I think it's at the level of the Neoprint shop.

Ez-link card holder

Find it very cute. I like that blur colour! So cute! Ohya, in the same shop, I also saw a Sylvester cat doll. It's so cute! Baby Sylvester. I’m going to buy it one day! Haha. I want to make a bracelet wit the word 'Sly' on it. Someone in one of the Sly forum is going to make one. Black leather and the words are very nice! Original is $12.90, but if more people buy together, the shop will offer cheaper, $8.90. Should I get it? It's really nice. Never mind. I want to find another one, my own style de. Lolx. Otherwise, I'm going to have the same time with many others Sly's fans. I wun't get it too as my skin is kind of sensitive to leather, will get rash if I wear it.

Talking about Sly, TODAY THAT'S AN EVENT AT PAYA LEBAR! It's a fiesta and Sly will be there!!! But I can't go. Parents don’t allow since I had just went to SMU on Monday. Haiz. Never mind. Next time. Next event of Sly I want to go. But actually I think, going for such event don't harm. Can't understand why they don't allow. My mother even say, she is trying to control me from being to crazy until I booked a taxi and chase around. Diaox. My mother don't trust me! So sad. With such a strict parents, do you think I have time to chase around him?? To chase around him, I think need almost one whole day. Haiz yo. MY parents ah, don't like that la. Paya Lebar! So near yet so far. So near to my house, yet I can't go. Haiz. * cry *

Happy weekend!