Wednesday, July 28, 2004

why is this happening? i juz dun understand why. did i did something wrong? i dunno. but why izzit she is so cold towards me? there must be a reason. i dunno if she is angry with me for some particular reason or wat. few days after my birthday, everything is fine. but this week, it's different. days before my birthday, she was cold towards me. now, same. why? can someone tell me why? i suddenly feel very lonely. suddenly felt that i'm transparent.

is not that i'm thinking too much. look. it's obvious. these few days, when she had some food to share. she give almost to everyone. hn, jr, ter, suryanti, polly, qf, zf, sebast. almost everyone around me. but not me. i'm not angry that she did not share food with me. i'm juz feeling very weird. if she is in a bad mood, lyk wat hn say. this wun't happen. if she is in bad mood, then why is she toking to hn and the others, happily. but cold towards me? it's very obvious that she is trying to avoid or ignore me. i asked hn today, wat was really happen to her. she claim that she dunno. she said, maybe our 'ba zi bu he' ha. i feel that it was juz an excuse! i dun believe. it's impossible that they dunno. TOTALLY IMPOSSIBLE. they are hiding something from me. there's something that they dun want me to know. why? now, this is something that concern about me. i have the rights to know. if i'm in wrong in some way, they had to tell me, so i wun't repeat the mistake. but if they dun tell, how the am i suppose to know what happen or wat i had done? are they going to keep me in dark foreveR?

last time was fine. we were really close. but ever since that day on friday, everything change. everyone seemed to ignore me. or dislike me. is her coldness towards me, related to what happened last time? oh pls. i really want to talk to her. but how?

i feel that i'm being neglected. so lonely...so sad....

well, i dunno if she thought i'm angry with her, so she nv tok to me. how i wish it was lyk that. coz at least, we aren't angry with one another. but the problem is, I DUNNO WAT'S GOING ON!!! NO ONE WANTS TO TELL ME!
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argh.....juz one phrase LIFE SUXS!

erm...in any case, if u guys read this, pls dun feel offend (especially those whose name appear here). i'm juz typing wat i think. it's really horrible to keep ur trouble in ur heart. and i really dunno how to tell my friends about this. so i write it here. if it offended you, i'm sorry.